holidays.

I fucking hate Christmas.
I wish it would die.
People have over emphasized the love that accompanies the wonderful winter holidays.
It's disgusting...
I really
really
hate Christmas.

senseless

I am extremely lucky to have all the people I do that love me.
Somehow though, I still feel lonely,
and for that I'm ashamed.
A lot of people care about me...
I don't have the right to be feeling alone
when there are so many people here for me.
I am so fucking dumb!!
Someone was making fun of me today =|.
That kind of thing pisses me off.
Ohh I've been meaning to do this,
Why not now? =]


Tick List
a. shallow people!!!
b. cruelity.
c. assholes [manipulators, liars, cheaters, annoying pricks, etc].
d. ditzy idiots.
e. players.
f. jealous bitches to the x-treme.
g. dirty looks.
h. fake smiles.
i. obnoxious people.
j. promiscuity.
k. grudges and fights.
l. drama. KEEP IT AWAYYY FROM ME!
m. tell-all girls.
n. marionettes... They are scary as FUCKkkk.
o. those creepy dolls that almost look real... eckk.
p. big dogs.
q. guys who let their penises control them.
r. people who slap labels on themselves.
s. science. I find it really boring..
t. when girls wear ties.
u. people who act like retards for attention.
v. "badasses." Skipping does not make you a "badass," fuckhead...
w. girls who are always fishing for complements. It's pathetic.
x. smart people who put no effort into school who then whine about it.
y. when people throw around "i love you."
z. Spanish. It's stupid. German is wayy cooler =].

i am disgusting

This is going to sound so stupid...

There's this guy
who's pretty much my best friend,
and I totally love him...
But I'm really confused about what kind of love.
I don't want to be his girlfriend... That just didn't feel right.
But now that we aren't dating, we always find ourselves cuddling or kissing,
and I find it totally illogical.
So tonight he tells me he was playing truth or dare with these two girls
and apparently there was "showing of certain parts" and touching and making out.
I am fucking jealous.
Jealous to the point of tears...
WTF?!

How could that reaction possibly make sense?
WTF?!
Maybe this is the desolate part of my heart speaking-
I'm just being stupid.
He likes me and I take advantage of that,
because I'm fucking lonely and I am not at all satisfied with myself alone.
God I am such a fucking whore!!

Why does this bother me so much??...
Maybe it's because he's the most serious boyfriend I've had.
Maybe 'cause of my own selfish insecurities.
Someone help me.
This is ridiculous!

what are you eating?

Casein..Whey..s cousin, casein is made from curdled milk. Yuck!

Gelatin..Rhymes with "skeleton." Coincidence? I think not. Gelatin is a protein made by boiling cows.. and pigs.. skin, tendons, ligaments, and bones. Jell-O? Heck, no!

Honey..Sure, honey tastes sweet, but you..ll get a bad taste in your mouth when you learn how it..s "harvested."

From a former beekeeper: "[T]ypically, beekeepers are gloved and netted to avoid stings (nearly every bee who stings will die due to her entrails being pulled from her body attached to her stinger.) Then the hives are opened as quickly as possible and the bees are ..smoked... Smoke from a smoldering fire carried in a ..smoker.. is pumped into the hive and the bees are ..calmed... In spite of this, the combs are pulled quickly and many bees are crushed in the process. When a bee is hurt, she releases a chemical message that alerts and activates the hive members who proceed to attack the intruder..giving their lives in the process."

Lard..Lard is such a gross word, it almost makes you wonder why they just don..t call it what it is: "Fat from hog abdomens."

Pepsin..If the thought of eating lard turns your stomach, stay away from pepsin, a clotting agent from pigs.. stomachs, used in some cheeses and vitamins.

Rennet..Certain words just make you cringe, like coagulate, congeal, clot..which is what rennet, an enzyme taken from baby calves.. stomachs, is used for in cheese production.

Stearic Acid..It may sound less gross than "lard," but stearic acid, which often rears its ugly head in chocolate and vitamins, comes from a fatty substance taken from slaughtered pigs.. stomachs..or from cows, sheep, or dogs and cats euthanized in animal shelters. Still want to chew on that piece of Fido?

Cetyl Palmitate..Check your head if you..re using margarine that contains cetyl palmitate, the fancy term for the waxy oil derived from sperm whales.. heads or from dolphins. "I can..t believe it..s not " oh, wait. It is" Whale head wax"?

Urea..Urea comes from urine and other "bodily fluids." It..s used to "brown" baked goods, like pretzels. Um, yeah. And the oven is for ??




GROSS!!!!!!!

chocolate animal crackers

I'm in an extremely shitty mood!

My brother woke me up last night at midnight
to ask me for fucking animal crackers...

I keep seeing those damn commercials on Nickelodeon™
[while I'm trying to watch Spongebob®]
About that fucking "Naked Brothers Band" =|

One of my "friends" apparently hates me.
I'm about to go back to my old habit,
and probably will have to go back to the hospital again.
There, I will go insane, and gouge my eyes out with a pencil,
After which it will be stabbed into an asshole's heart.

This plan is far too thought out.


I hate snow.
It's disgusting and wet and cold.
It makes the sun go away!!
Pissheaddddd... =[


Well. I need to post something else, very interesting.
So I'll stop whining =].





FUCKING NAKED BROTHERS BAND COMMERCIAL
IS ON AGAIN!! DIEEE!!!

lollorskates

Mmm well.
My AIM was hacked,
isn't that just glorious?
I am mad about that...
But oh well. New SN - vomitmeRAINBOWS
To say anything that's been going on recently ummm...
I got fatter lol.
That stupid bastard is going away forever!!
YESSSSSSSS!
I wish things hadn't ended so awful between us,
but hey - he's leaving, so fuck him =].
That sounds really mean, but what else can I say?
This weekend I went to an OWL's overnight;
It was... interesting.
The guys and girls were seperated
upon a parents request,
which I at first thought was really stupid,
but after I heard they'd farted in each other's faces all night,
I was thankful.
All in all it was fun.
I've been having some really odd dreams
about two certain people..
I don't know what's up with me.
Anyway. bye.
You're a whore =]

a new blog.

Basically, I am tired of people reading my private thoughts in my journal, on MySpace blogs, or notes that are none of their business. It's frustrating to think that a person you don't trust could easily take a peek inside of you with the click of a button. So here, it's much more private. No fucking MySpacers snooping around my blogs =|. Anyway, that's enough for right now, I need to edit my profile here and make a better template and fonts and such.